she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
COCAINE IS GR8
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
