I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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