If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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