his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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