That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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