Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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