There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
