Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
