I'm jealous of your bromance
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
