I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
