people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
