don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
