I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
