He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He felt like a one man threesome
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
