I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
