We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
