Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
