i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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