this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
