I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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