Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
