His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
