Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
