i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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