I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
