youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
