Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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