haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
