Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
mondays should just be called national damage control day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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