The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
