If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
