what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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