He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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