If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
