come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
