that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
