I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
not ubering you a puppy
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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