the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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