i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
