I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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