3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
As shirtless as possible
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
