I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
