she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
