i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
