I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
