all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
