just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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