I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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