I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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