I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
