I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
and you fell through a lawn chair
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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