let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
